


Not enough

by stainhermouthred



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bobbi's life, Brainwashing - minor theme, F/M, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, Marriage Proposal, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of torture (subtle), Miscarriage, Sadness, Violence, before avengers, it;s more sensual really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:58:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4970782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stainhermouthred/pseuds/stainhermouthred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobbi was always passionate, throwing herself into the world, with the dedication and passion some would consider crazy, and expecting to get everything the world had to offer in return. At one point she gets everything she wanted only to lose in a most brutal way possible. -<br/>short story about Bobbi through her time at university, her training and marriage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This thing is about as sad as Not A Word (Check it out, it's angsty because I'm evil)  
> Oh and... this was supposed to me 500 words drabble. See how good I am at short stories?  
> Also: it gets really dark really fast

She was seventeen years old California girl. Blonde hair, tall and in top shape due to her gymnastics achievements. She was fast and limber and damn good at what she was doing. She excelled in her classes and was the queen of the year with her sparkling and loud personality. She had everything she could ever want, the bright future ahead of her. She loved her life and her family but she never told them. She didn’t want simple life with steady career. She wanted to do something to make an impact on the world.

She’s twenty two and in love with her course of studies. She got right where she wanted to Georgia Institute of Technology taking the Biochemistry. People tended to complain about it and she was curious. So she followed every word she heard, everything she had seen, spending more and more time with Dr Wilma Calvin trying to come up with new solutions to the problems that were constantly arising and although it required all of her focus, it still wasn’t enough. She kept herself busy, seconds she wasn’t at the lab, she spent at the gym, trying to stay in shape and the moments when even this seemed to be too little, she spent lost in the arms of the pretty California boys who were more than willing to take her out. With smiles and little touches they thought they were masters of seduction, they weren’t. She never took them to her room, she spent the night at their place, getting intense and passionate for a few hours and disappearing when they fell asleep. It was okay for a few hours but they were putty in her hands it was too easy. Too boring. She needed so much more. So she got back to science, always so demanding, it kept her focus even if it was for only a little longer than her California boys.

At age of twenty three she fell in love. She fell fast and hard and it felt amazing. There was a boy who was finishing up his PhD in Genetics, a man really, his hair was dark and his eyes were green and she felt like he could be something else. When he looked at her, her heart sped up, when he talked with her about something they both loved and respected, science, she had butterflies in her stomach. The first time they kissed it felt like he could be everything, with his soft lips and gentle hands giving her the pleasure making her feel like she was floating, flying. Being with him was exciting, exhilarating. There was a day though when she woke up and the rush of excitement was gone. She felt good in his company and nothing changed but suddenly his gentleness too soft, he was passionate but not enough, his warm attitude a little sickening. One day she  couldn’t stand it. She left, because he was not enough, she needed to move on.

At the age of twenty five she graduated with a PhD and had no idea what to do with her life. Then she got recruited by Wilma Calvin to work on a project Gladiator to develop Super Soldier serum. Her life had a purpose and she spent every waking moment working, not caring much about anything else. She was throwing herself into things, completely, with dedication that some would consider crazy. And maybe she was. It didn’t matter. It gave her satisfaction. She loved it.

She was about two days from her twenty six birthday when armed man came into her lab and told her and the others that the research was being shut down. They took everything that could hold data and she fought nail and tooth to keep at least one of the drives or the samples. Unfortunately, with some difficulties, they put her down. She was taken to her mentor and a man with an eye-patch. Her heart was racing, the adrenaline rush making her even more aware of her surroundings than usual. SHIELD shut down their research, doctor Calvin was okay with this and Bobbi was furious. She threw a tantrum about this being the work of her life. And then she demanded to be able to join them.  She wasn’t sure if she was more surprised at her own demand or at this man’s smirk and agreement. There was a training that needed to be completed and for the first time in a long time she felt like this might be the right path for her.

She’s twenty eight and finishes her sped up training at SHIELD Academy. She honestly thought it would take her longer but she took the extremely tight schedule just so she could get on with it before she turns thirty. And she did. She was a the top of her class and one of the most dedicated recruits there. She completed her training like she did everything else, give all of her and expecting to get everything in return. Opposite to her research, when she hit someone she saw the effects immediately. The rush of her blood out of adrenaline was something she experienced daily and she actually helped people. Somewhere on a mission, she realized that was it. That was something that she wanted to do. That night she got her ass kicked and yet slept better than she did in the past ten years.  

She’s twenty nine when she met ,as it would turn out, her future husband. They crush into each other’s lives, yelling and fighting and everything between them was loud and intense. They completed the mission with a lot of disagreements but a success. After that they managed to tell Fury that it went okay before they were tumbling into her apartment, kissing hard.

That was not her intention. He was infuriating and yet so perfect when he was discovering every inch of her skin with his mouth once they lost their clothes. They fought without inhibitions and it sent similar rush in her as the one when she was beating up the bad guys. He was elevating her heartbeat when he was driving her crazy with his mouth and tongue as well as with his yelling. The difference was that she was tugging his hair to get him closer and no to hurt. She wasn’t shivering with fury but with pleasure that was coursing through her veins. It was intense and passionate, it was making her skin burn and the itching to get her hands on him was only getting stronger, the arguments long forgotten as he filled her, taking her breath and her worries completely away. If there was one word to describe them, it was passionate. He started rocking in a steady pace and soon she was straddling him, moving above and kissing his infuriating mouth, giving herself to him completely just as she did with everything else. And to her surprise, this time she got the same thing from him. His devotion, his attention, his desire. His respect.

He listened to her talking about the story of her life and told her about his. So different and yet she realized that in a way they were the same. Chasing the impossible, the desire to help, to achieve more in their lives. Just as he did in circus, working his ass off to become the best he could, joining SHIELD, and yet still chasing life for more. Nothing was able to satisfy him. He was a smartass with bad temper and when she yelled at him, he didn’t back off like all these boys in the past, no, he was a man, someone who stood up to whatever he believed in even if it was a fight about nothing. It’s been years she’s been in love and yet it was different. He was rough and full of edges, fighting her every chance he could and proving that he loved her even harder. She felt like she met her match. One day they went to Vegas to get married, giving SHIELD one hell of a paperwork. She became his life and work partner and felt like this was her place in the world.

Two days before her thirty birthday she found out she was pregnant. When Clint heard the news he looked like this was the happiest day of his life, taking her in his arms, spinning around and laughing like a crazy person. And then she realized that she was carrying his baby and although she didn’t feel so sure about this at the beginning, right then it seemed like the greatest thing that could have happened to them. They wanted that baby.

When she turned thirty,  her life went to hell. She was on one of her last missions before she was to be located on the base until she gave birth. Clint was opposed to it but it was supposed to be an easy stake out.  And it was. But the intel was bad. And she was taken by the enemy.

SHIELD found her two weeks later. Laying on the floor, shaking, her body bruised heavily and cut in various places, some of her fingernails torn. Lying on the cot, her clothes completely torn her eyes were open wide and her hands were curled into tight fists. When the door of her cell opened she whipped her head in their direction, jumping on whoever was there, punching that person in the windpipe, knocking the breath out. Then, she realized that they were SHIELD. She didn’t say a word but clenched her jaw and while the agent was still fighting to catch a breath she took his knife and gun and left her cell. With the corner of her eye she noticed that on her rescue team was her husband. She didn’t stop though. She went to the command room and shoot everyone there except for the head of this base. He was looking at her with that gleam in his eye, the same one he had when he took her by force. And when he was talking about her baby about being able to hurt her in many more ways. And that sick smile when she was bleeding out on the floor, knowing that she lost her baby. She felt sick when she thought about it and shoot his leg so he stumbled and fell back. She heard steps behind her and the command to leave that man alive. She heard her husband pleading her to back off.

And that man was still smiling at her slyly when she straddled him and put a knife to his neck. He said that he was glad that they had such nice time together. And then she moved the knife and cut the line of his mouth, making his smirk disappear and his screams arise. She cut the patterns on his face slowly, starting from the line of his mouth, not deep enough to kill him, going up near his eyes, drawing blood that was not even close to how much she bled here, the blade of knife sliding through his skin easily, sometimes stabbing into most sensitive nerves and still his screams weren’t brining any relief. So she cut deeper hearing louder screams from him as well as from the men behind her and suddenly there was a gunshot. From behind her. For a second she thought she got a bullet. Because the man was a vital source of information.  But she was conscious. And the man under her stopped screaming, bullet hole in the side of his head. Turning her head, she saw her husband looking at her with terror, his gun still pointed at her victim. And that was the moment she knew it was the end and she blacked out, hoping that she won’t ever wake up.

She woke up in hospital bed to see her husband sitting on the chair next to her. His eyes were red and when he saw her stir he got really stiff. She knew why. “Bobbi, you… that guy, the doctor told me what happened to you  and… our baby…” he tried really hard. She could see in his eyes that he still remembered her cutting the man to pieces. She could see the disgust. The terror. Both to her and himself for feeling that way. Because out of the two of them she was the one tortured but he still felt that way. And pain. Because their baby was gone.

She wanted to end their marriage right there and then. Do both of them a favor. But she couldn’t, she was selfish enough to want it to last just a little longer. He took her to their apartment, taking good care of her but not talking. He asked if she needed anything, stayed with her but always busied himself with something. He wouldn’t look at her, she reminded him both of their dead baby and the ruthlessness. She knew that he wanted to leave her. Couldn’t bear to sleep next to her in one bed. And yet she was holding onto their marriage. It was a formality. One word from her and that’s it.

He would hold her during the day, telling her that it would be okay and she held off her tears but when she woke up screaming and crying from a nightmare he wouldn’t move towards her, pretending he’s asleep. She would cry quietly, remembering the way she was hit and tortured, the way that man told her that this was the best news ever when she had miscarriage in her cell. The way he raped her repeatedly when she was drugged and half aware. The way Clint looked at her after he killed that bastard. They were both broken after this. And she should leave. But not yet.

About two weeks after she left hospital, when she woke up crying hard and screaming his name, he turned around and pulled her into his arms, rocking her gently, her back leaned against his chest and his face buried into her neck, she could feel his tears on her skin and it broke her heart. He said her name then, gently, with resistance. Then he said that she was safe now. That made her cry even harder. He laid them down and held her tight as he fall asleep. She tried but focused instead on his arms around her, his steady heartbeat and the warmth. And decided that she couldn’t do that to him anymore. They loved each other. But it wouldn’t be enough to help them.

In the morning, she left before he woke up. Next week the postman brought him the divorce papers with a little note saying “I’m so sorry”.

He tried calling her but she ignored it. She met with SHIELD’s shrink and tried to work out her issues. She got what she wanted from life, she had everything and then she lost it and honestly the only thing she wanted tight now was to never leave her bed again. But Fury got pissed and had some new agent literally haul her out of her room to the rehabilitation. Day by day she was healing. She hoped Clint was too.

When she was thirty one, she returned to duty. She got new field partner, reported almost directly to Fury. She was okay and would get even better. Her ex-husband was an Avenger now, got more from life just like he wanted and she just needed to wait for her turn.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the story has a second part. Because I needed an outlet and I'm not cruel. (A friend keeps telling me that I am, I don't get it)  
> The structure is different but it's literally the continuation of the previous story. and Nat appears here!

She didn’t look for him. On the contrary, she was actively avoiding him which wasn’t exactly easy considering that few times a year he was getting out of his way to meet  with her. After the first time when she had to hide in the closet not to meet him, she figured a way. Every time the date of their anniversary, the day she was kidnapped and the date of their divorce was approaching she would go undercover.

She knew what was going on with him, she made a point to Fury to inform her if anything happens. But besides the really loud mission when he brought Black Widow in, there was nothing to be concerned about. Then the Avengers business. The rumors that he was in love with Natasha. She knew all of it and yet she didn’t see him eye to eye since that night when he finally showed her real comfort. She befriended  Nat though.  Right before the sky opened.

And that was Fury’s fault. Clint had been unconscious and he needed Natasha on a mission in Prague. And she needed backup. For some reason he  decided that Bobbi skills were so similar to Hawkeye’s that she would make a perfect substitute.

And he was right. They worked perfectly well together and the mission was a success. Later that night they were sitting in their  cheap hotel in Prague drinking vodka. It burned her throat and it was bringing her some kind of relief. And she remembered their conversation perfectly.

They were sitting on Bobbi’s bed in that obscure room, the bottle of vodka in Nat’s hand as they were talking about their target, laughing at the mistake he made and at unimaginable ambitions of low key criminals. Then Bobbi snorted that she probably shouldn’t drink with a former enemy who’s so much better at holding her liquor than she was. It was tactless and two seconds after the words left her mouth she realized it but to her surprise redhead started laughing.

“You’re about just subtle as my partner, have you met him ?” she was grinning and for some reason Bobbi’s heart skipped a beat. He kept their relationship secret from Nat.

“I did, yes.  I even married him.” Bobbi gathered her hair back looking at shocked Natasha whose mouth was slightly open as if she had trouble comprehending this. She was really pretty, Bobbi wouldn’t be surprised if she and Clint started dating. Smart, skilled, sharp tongue, intriguing. Someone just for him.

“He’s married?” she looked like the possibility alone was something unimaginable.

“Divorced. Happens” Bobbi shrugged, taking the bottle and taking a huge swing from it. Which was a mistake as she stared coughing violently and Natasha gave her something to drink to help her, rubbing her back soothingly.  Bobbi flinched away from the soft caress. She avoided tenderness with all her might since that night.

“I’m sorry” redhead said quietly. Bobbi felt her eyes on her and tried really hard not to show anything but she was drunk and it wasn’t easy when she was sober anyway. “yeah, me too”

They slept in the same bed, each of them lost in their own thoughts, Bobbi trying not to think about her ex-husband. At some point Natasha was noisy enough to ask her one more question:

 

“Is he avoiding you?” “No. I’m the one avoiding him”

“Did he do something to hurt you? That’s why you got divorced?” Natasha looked at her with these huge eyes and Bobbi sighed quietly. “No. He’s a good guy. We just… We couldn’t be together anymore.”  She had to fight  herself not to put her hand on her stomach… there was a pit in there, the guilty feeling that was also a reminder that once she carried a child of his. And she lost it.

Nat didn’t ask any more questions and now they were best friends, going shopping together, training, eating pizza on Friday nights. It felt good and stable. Hanging out and occasionally meeting as field partners. Although Black Widow  was now more of an Avenger than a spy. Natasha became someone important in Bobbi’s life and unlike Fury she wasn’t constantly reminding her of her ex-husband.

Until one time when she showed up at her doorstep the day before Bobbi was going on an undercover mission. She looked uncertain, fidgeting slightly and not meeting her eyes.

“Bobbi… I have a request and I promise I will never ask you for this ever again. Just this once.” She was biting her  lip and nervousness was radiating from her.

“What?”

“I have Avengers business. And Clint is a total mess, he said that it was the day and that this time he wouldn’t call you or something but he’s in a really bad shape. I don’t want him to do something stupid and I really don’t trust anyone with him now. Could you go to him?”

She wanted to say no. She should have said no. But Natasha wouldn’t ask if she wasn’t really worried and she could treat it as what it was. A favor to her friend. So she nodded, wished her good luck and left her apartment going to a place she didn’t expect to see ever again. But here she was knocking to the door of their old apartment and listening in.

“Go away Nat, thought you had a mission”  Clint’s voice was hoarse and unpleasant, she didn’t care.

She heard him coming to the door and yanking it open and stopping in his tracks at the sight of her . “ _The day_ is tomorrow sport. You screwed up dates.”

He looked like he was drinking. Generally he could be described today as a complete mess. And what surprised her, and it really shouldn’t, he looked older with the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and she realized what she missed the most was the hint of smile that was always with him. Even in tv, she hasn’t seen him smile for a while now.

They were staring at each other for a good few minutes and finally she whispered:

“Do you want me to go?”

“Nat made you come. Do you want to be here?” he snapped and it hurt.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to” that was all she said. He didn’t seem convinced but he let her come in anyway and she looked around the apartment she hasn’t been in  for more than two years now. Little has changed but then again they were busy people. What she noticed however was the couch with the bottles next to it, thankfully most of them still closed. The tv was on and there was some action movie she didn’t recognize. She lost her coat and threw it on the armchair, sitting herself in the couch and taking one of the bottles.

He was watching her movements, blinking a little too rapidly as if he wasn’t sure if she’s real.

“Clint…”

He came closer and sat next to her, his hand going up to touch her face but the second his fingers brushed her cheek she flinched away. She would have preferred if he hit her. He withdrew with the hurt on his face and leaned back. “you look good” he said dryly.

“You look like shit.”

“Well, didn’t expect to see my ex-wife on the day before our anniversary. Usually she’s out in the field on the occasion.” His voice was mean and she deserved every bit of it.

She did the right thing leaving. She knew this. She probably shouldn’t ignore him for almost three years but it was easier. And she figured that maybe… she deserved to be cut some slack as well. He didn’t think so apparently.

“Not to mention that she’s left in the middle of the night one time and the next thing I know, I get divorce papers. That would make someone feel like shit, don’t you think?” He was looking at her pissed and mocking her. And that hurt.

“Do you think I wanted this?!” she blurted out.

“I don’t know, Bobbi, I was there with you, and then you decided that  you can leave first chance you got! Damn right seem like you wanted to”  he sat straighter than before, fire she hasn’t seen in ages in his eyes and yes, fighting she could do.

“If I wasn’t so selfish I would have left the second I left hospital,  but I needed you! I wanted to hold onto our marriage a little longer! Don’t you dare tell me I wanted to, I  loved you!”

Clint snorted and she felt her blood boil in her veins. She could feel her eyes filling with tears but refused to cry just yet. “No, you don’t get to that! You weren’t there when I was held captive. You weren’t there when that man was  torturing me, using me. You weren’t there when I was bleeding on the floor of my cell, when I knew our baby was gone! All you saw was a ruthless murderess and a reminder of our kid!”

“I knew what happened to you! I tried to support you!”

“But you were disgusted by me. And it was killing you because it wasn’t right, you knew that. Because I could see how you beat yourself up for letting me cry in the darkness even though you were awake. Because I understood why you feel that way!   I left because I couldn’t watch you hate yourself so much! Because I loved you enough to let you go! So we could heal!” He paled a little at her words about her nightmares, he looked like he was in pain.

“That night before I left? You held me when I cried, you were so gentle with me, and I knew I couldn’t do that to you anymore. Neither of us deserved that Clint!” She felt tears on her cheeks and didn’t even bother to wipe them off.

“Bobbi…” his voice was barely a whisper but she needed to finish, not caring that her voice was hoarse from shouting and crying.

“Tell me you didn’t feel relieved when you saw these papers. For a second, a fracture of a seconds because I know you would feel bad later. Just tell me you didn’t feel better for a second…” her face was wet and her eyes were probably red but she kept staring at him, begging him to say something.

“That’s not fair Bobbi …” he looked like he really wanted to look away from her face but couldn’t.

“I shouldn’t have ignored you for these years. I just… It stopped hurting so much. I didn’t want it to start again” her lips were trembling and she was curled into a ball on his couch. It hurt now. Everything hurts.  

The difference was… they were too broken then to even shout these things at each other. The hurt was personal, they were alone in it. And now… Things they both knew since then were finally said aloud. And it hurt about as much as it did few years ago. Stepping over the ruins of their broken marriage, reliving the memories of her kidnapping.

Clint sat there frozen, probably hurt even more than he was before she showed up and she was sitting on the other end of the couch crying. She shouldn’t have come here. She shouldn’t have let Natasha talk her into this. Bobbi could feel  that Clint wanted to hug her, to give her comfort but she wasn’t sure if she could handle it. Three years ago she left because he showed that  he cared. She was still tearing up a little but managed to look at him, trying to figure out the man who used to be her whole life.

She saw a man, a broken one with a steel will and good heart. She traced  the lines of his face with her eyes, looking at the wrinkles forming slowly on his face, on the eyes, haunted by the ghosts of past. She was this ghost haunting him. She was the one that never quite manage to leave his life. To be honest the more appropriate description would be that she’s the phantom of sorts. Because she looked like the woman he loved but she wasn’t her.

He was watching her as intently but there was nothing to be read on his face. He looked like he just really wanted to memorize her. “Did you find what you were looking for?” he asked quietly and she felt like crying again. That’s what he was asking her now.

“I did…” she whispered “and you?”

“I think so, yes”

“Good.” There was a moment of silence in between them. Finally he said:  “it’s our anniversary in 10 minutes”

“I know.” She muttered. His eyes wouldn’t leave and finally he scooted closer and made a second attempt at touching her face. She didn’t flinch away this time. His hand kept brushing her face, caressing her neck and she leaned into his touch. “I know how you feel” he whispered, one of his hands moving down to her waist. “Like you have no place here. But Birdie you will always be the part of my life. For better and worse”

She was looking at him with glassy eyes and mouth slightly opened in shock. He kept caressing her face before he leaned in and his lips touched hers, their kiss so soft it was barely a touch. And yet it felt like the lightning strike. It was the most intense reaction to anyone she’s ever met. And she couldn’t make it last…

She backed off from the kiss after a moment. “We can’t”

He looked at her, hazed a little. “Why not?”

“we’re divorced” he was nuzzling her neck and she couldn’t focused.

“So?”

“Clint. We’ll hate ourselves in the morning. You’ll hate yourself again” her voice was barely above the whisper.

“I think we’ve had enough pain on us for a lifetime Bobbi. You have your share, don’t worry about mine.” Clint looked so serious and it made this even worse. But his touch was still making her skin burn and she wanted to feel how it was to be with her husband again. So she gave in.

It wasn’t gentle as she thought it would be. It was hard and fast, probably hurting them more than giving them pleasure. He kept her underneath him, his hands gripping her hips so tightly she was bruising and Bobbi biting him so hard he would her marks for weeks. It wasn’t gentle. It was rough. And intense. And giving them the thrill, the adrenaline rush they needed to keep going, the one that once seemed to be the thing to keep them alive.

She left for the mission early in the morning, trying not to look at the man she was leaving. It couldn’t happen again anyway. It shouldn’t happen now. Maybe it was the experience of finally seeing eye to eye and maybe the spark between them never died. It didn’t matter. Couldn’t happen again.

After that she stopped avoiding him and somehow Fury found out because she started getting paired up with him on random missions. He didn’t ask though and she was glad because that wasn’t something she wanted to talk about. It was nice to have Clint to talk to sometimes. And Nat. She started hanging out with the two of them and it was surprisingly refreshing to have a new wit to challenge. More importantly, she had someone to fight with.

She was an unstoppable force when she believed in something and just as before she met her husband, people were backing off, when argument was getting too aggressive because they were scared that she’ll take their head. Now she had Clint again. And Nat occasionally but the woman agreed with her most of the time so the arguments would be pointless.

And now she had her partner back.

They were sent on a mission to Berlin. Everything was planned to the last detail and yet both of them managed to screw up their ends making the mission a colossal failure. Thankfully they managed to run without any injuries although Clint was almost killed under the collapsing building and Bobbi was close to being kidnapped yet again. They met at the safehouse and were relieved that the other was alright before the hell broke loose. They were shouting at each other, furious that the other one screw up the mission.  Being concerned about each other’s safety and the feeling that someone bad got away it made them wound up so they needed an outlet.

After two hours he grabbed her face in one of his hands and hissed that he never wanted to be afraid that she’s kidnapped again and she pushed him hard enough that his back hit the wall, growling that he could shut the fuck up, she thought he was dead.

“Please, I’m invincible”  he smirked and she wanted to hit him hard enough so he would get his head straight.

Instead Bobbi threw her hands in the air and pushed him into the same wall again, her  face merely inches from his. “No you’re not. You better remember that next time a building tries to collapse on you”

He rolled his eyes and she glared at him before kissing him hard. They were so relieved they were alive that they didn’t stop to be gentle or slow. They made their way to the bed, stopping at various points in the room and destroying whatever was in their way until they reached the bed both bleeding a little from broken glass and sharp corners of the bedroom. They didn’t play, they fucked with all their energy and then she left. She was used to leaving him.

It became a pattern, whenever Fury would pair them up, they would accomplish the mission and then have intense, hot sex. They came to the moment when they were casually recommend each other to Fury as work partners. They loved their new dynamic and hoped it would stay this way.

But nothing ever stays simple.

He was almost killed. Laying in the hospital, she and Nat never leaving his side. Natasha told her then that he stilled loved her. And she knew. Of course she did. But she was scared. They tried once and they got burned. But when Natasha left to get them coffee, she couldn’t help but come closer and whisper to him that she was sorry that she couldn’t give him what he wanted. That she loved him too much to do that to them.

He said that she was a drama queen waiting till he was on deathbed to tell him something he already knew.

She laughed at that, calling him an idiot, but the moment he was left out of hospital she dropped by his apartment with a suitcase and a Chinese take-out. She took care of him while he was recovering, inviting Natasha nearly every day so they could still hang out. She talked to the redhead when Clint was sleeping.

Natasha asked her if she knew what she was doing. And honest to God, she didn’t. She told Nat that this was nothing permanent and that they were still figuring things out.

“You sure? Because he doesn’t seem to think it’s temporary”  she said smirking.

Redhead’s words came back to her when she was laying on the bed next to him, looking at the uneven breaths and his relaxed face. To be honest, Bobbi just didn’t think about it. The only thing that she was aware was that she wanted to be here with him. She learnt the hard way not to plan too much ahead because the life may  crush you anytime. Clint should have known that as well.

When he felt better she told him she would move out the next day.

He nodded with understanding and when they went to bed, each of them on their half of the bed, he took her by hand and guided her closer to him. His breath was hot against her face as he breathed in the smell of her shampoo and caressed her side with slow movements of his hands. She was relaxed, watching his face, a little sleepy and a little awed, he usually had that look when they were in bed. Like he was grateful for every second with her. Her hand travelled to his hair, stroking softly making him sigh and everything was so slow and careful and gentle. She pushed herself up a little so she could kiss his cheek and lightly brush her lips down to his mouth, laying a kiss there, slow and chaste. Her breath probably tickled his face and she felt his hand travel up her spine beneath her top, making her shudder and exhale against his lips which ended with him putting more pressure on her back, pressing her body against his, both warm and content to just be near each other.

“What if I asked you to stay” she felt his words more than heard them, his lips almost touching hears while he said that.

“I’m staying” she answered, her thumb stroking his neck. His pulse jumped at that.

“I want you to be my wife again, Bobbi”

Bobbi smiled a litte and leaned back. “You know my answer, sport”

“I do”

She might have loved him but the answer remained the same. No. He didn’t ask again, he knew why. She kissed him then, with a smile on her face so happy as if she just agreed to spend the rest of her life with him and not the other way around. He could feel her smile when she was kissing his lips so passionately as if she wanted him to remember that forever. So he would remember this for a long time. He felt her smile when she was tracing her lips over his neck and down his chest, sending shivers down his spine when she gave him pleasure that only she could. No one else knew his body as intimately as the blonde woman moving over him, with her long her and laugh on her lips, radiating happiness simply from being with him, playing with him, making him feel so good. When he gripped her hips, she gasped and soon he was kissing that beautiful smile off her face and slowly taking off her clothes, layer after layer, caressing every bit of flesh he could find, keeping her close, feeling her gasp and writhe. He was sitting with her legs wrapped around him, rocking steadily, hearing her soft gasps and moans above him while he was nuzzling her neck, kissing the spot under her ear slowly and he knew that the ring on her hand wouldn’t change a thing so he was happy. Because he got her back and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

After that they spend every free moment with each other, Bobbi still having her own apartment but spending more and more time at his place. Natasha on the other hand was paired up with Steve Rogers more often than not so that left them with a lot of alone time. They still called her and asked her to hang out though. She was best friend to both of them now and incredibly happy that they “sorted out their shit”.

One day though, when Bobbi called, Nat’s phone picked up Coulson and that alone was enough to scare her to death. “Bobbi, good to hear from you, I have a mission for you”

“Where’s Nat?” she asked, trying not to show just how scared she was for redhead. Natasha was a Russian spy. She was able to endure everything.

“She went on a solo mission and got captured. Bad intel.” Bobbi swallowed hard. She knew how it went from now on first hand. “Anyway, I would trust her to get out of there on her own, unfortunately, the person she was investigating used to work on implanting memories and commands into a human brain. So we’re sending a rescue team. You and Barton included because you know her strategy patterns better than anyone here. You leave in an hour”.

Bobbi dropped her phone and tried to keep her breath even which wasn’t easy. The world was spinning in front of her and she felt like her legs couldn’t support her anymore. She felt sick to her stomach and tried to breathe. One… in and out… Two.. in …

“Bobbi” Clint came home. “Bobbi? You okay?” He knelt next to her and cradled her face in his hands looking at her face.

“Natasha was taken.” She said quietly.

“I know. We’re going to get her, baby. She’ll be okay” she wondered why her vision was so blurred before his fingers started wiping his face and she realized that she was crying. “shh, Bobbi, get yourself together, we’re coming for her, okay?” He was looking at her, waiting for any sign that she understood so she nodded her head slowly. He exhaled relieved and hugged her closely.

The mission was planned. Bobbi looked over every detail herself, making sure that there was no way something would happen to Nat who most likely has been brainwashed. They had quite big rescue team and everything should be okay. They overlooked two minor details.

How much of a mad man their bad guy was.

And just how good Natasha was.

Bobbi should have known that. Nat was holding back, she was so much stronger than she usually showed, so much faster. But even then when she found her in the hallway while on a searching party, the first thing she went for was her communicator. Which also landed a blow on her head. The second one, the gun. The dark scenario was right since she didn’t seem to recognize Bobbi at all. What she was interested though, was taking her head off.

And Bobbi still had her batons. She managed to land few blows on her but it wasn’t much compared to how fast Natasha recovered and soon enough she was getting the upper hand, kicking and punching and getting a hit on Bobbi way more often than the blonde did. Finally when she felt like she couldn’t go on anymore because of the pain, she saw her chance and prayed that redhead had a thick skull before smashing her head into the wall with one solid punch and knocking her out. She stood there panting and securing the girl with handcuffs. She wandered if simple things as handcuffs would be enough to stop her. Somehow, after what she just saw, she doubted that.

“That was a nice show” she turned around quickly, hissing in pain and throwing one baton into the direction  but her aim was off. There stood the man in his 50s or so. Clapping and smirking.

“You’re sick. And arrested on behalf of SHIELD. It’s over.” She admitted it would be so much better if her comm. Wasn’t smashed. But she could work around that.

“And you’re her friend. That’s why I made her go after you or that man, Barton, I think. It’s fun to see you all pull your punches and she just wants you dead. That betrayal on your faces” He was practically grinning now.

“Why do you even bother?”

“Because it’s entertaining. Now I know everything about you from our dear friend, so imagine my fun when  I know, who you came here with”

“I’ll kill you” she said calmly. She reached for her second baton, ready to send it right into his face.

“And you’re naïve. Too bad” he said and she heard a swish and a sting in the back of her neck. Her eyes widened in shock. “ I’m not alone here, Bobbi Morse.”

The last  thing she remembered was seeing Natasha starting to move before her vision turned black.

When she woke up she was tied to the stake, that kind where the witches were burned in middle ages. Maybe he’ll burn her. That would be just fantastic.

She blinked few times though and looked around. She was in a room and Natasha was standing about three metres from her, meddling with her destroyed comm.

“What the hell are you doing” She said in a quiet voice.

“She’s transmitting on the frequency from your comm.” That guy, she didn’t even know his name, evil nickname, whatever.

“Why” Bobbi laughed. “Changed your mind and want to go to prison?”

“No, I want to make sure that your team will come in an exact moment of your execution. It will make for a dramatic moment. Oh, and say a word to warn them and she kills your husband” He looked gleeful at the concept and Bobbi felt sick.

She was tied and what’s worse she was already bleeding, too weak to break free by force already feeling lightheaded from blood loss and pain. Natasha stopped playing and took out a gun from her holster. Bobbi felt her heart jumping to her throat.

“Nat, shake out of it. You can do this. You were trained for this. Come on!” her voice was supposed to be reassuring but came out rushed and slightly panicked. Natasha didn’t look like she even heard her and stood in a slightly bigger distance from her, watching Bobbi with no emotion on her face. Bobbi could hear her pulse pounding loudly in her ears. “What is she waiting for?” she asked, that psycho probably being just behind her.

“Told you. For audience.”

And then she heard. The team going in, the team going in, shouting “freeze” and “SHILED”, her husband at the front, looking for her desperately. Always looking. That night. Then looking for a way to contact her. And now. She looked at that beautiful and infuriating man, and couldn’t bring herself to regret any moment in their lives. The tears were streaming down her face and her eyes never left his face. She looked at his face when he realized that she was about to be shot. She closed her eyes and listened to him yelling “No!” before she heard two gunshots and the world went black.

 


End file.
